Tomorrow

Tomorrow would have been my 6th wedding anniversary. Instead, I've been separated for almost a year and a half, divorced for 7 months. Last year, when it was to be our 5th annivesary, it was hard. I thought several weeks ahead of time how we should have been planning a night or weekend away. So, my parents offered to fly me (and Kiersten) to Idaho for the weekend to see my sister and brother and their spouses. It was a nice weekend.

Even though we were separated last year, and it was harder than this year, this year is still hard. Last year at this time I was still holding out hope that we would work things out. David was still considering working things out. This year, it's final...we're divorced.

I was scheduled for the nursery tomorrow, and anticipated that I might do better if I was able to be in the church service to worship and pray and be able to soak up God's love. I found a sub, which fell through, but I've found a few other people willing to fill in for me.

This life is often lonely. I am surrounded by people, surrounded by people who love me and care for me SO much. But it can still be lonely. BUT I'm getting it through it...one week, one day, sometimes one hour at a time. And I will keep on keepin' on because that's what I do, and that's all I can do.

Running

I hate running. Do not enjoy it at all. I don't mind exercise. Love riding my exercise bike or doing tae-bo, playing volleyball. But HATE running. In high school I ran a lot for a couple of classes I took and got AWFUL shin splints. I think that did it for me. I've tried a few times to take up running, and it just never sticks.

A couple years ago, I decided I wanted a runner's body so as much as I hated running, I was going to run. That didn't last long.

Well, I've made some goals for this year, and they include exercising at least 4 times a week and losing a bit of weight (some baby weight that is still hanging on from my nearly three year old). I've been doing tae-bo and riding my exercise bike. But yesterday at my parents' house, I decided to run on the treadmill. I found one of "my" shows to watching online and got started. I ended up running for about half an hour, ran a little over 2 miles. It felt good.

I don't really care for running outside. It's boring to me. I can only focus on what I'm doing--running...which I don't enjoy. But if I can run while watching TV? Now, that works for me. I think the other problem with running outside is that I don't do very well at pacing myself. On the treadmill I can set my pace and stick with it pretty well.

So today when I got done working, the girls were still with my parents, so I went to my sister's house and ran on her treadmill. Watched American Idol. Ran 2.25 miles and then speed-walked another .5 miles. I think I might actually be able to stick with this!

Oh, and another goal I have? To update this blog at least once a week. We'll see, huh?